


Not Your Average Revolutionary Group Chat

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Crack, Gen, M/M, Texting, This is a literal piece of garbage forgive me, hamilsquad groupchat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6357469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title says it all. A hamilsquad group chat texting fic. I have no idea what this is going to turn out to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The One Where The Power Is Out

**Author's Note:**

> OK so we've been on a lot of long car rides over spring break, so I've been entertaining my sister with Hamilsquad crack fics. This is dedicated to her, even though she has no social media.

Alex: GUYS THE POWER WENT OUT

Angel: Yes Alex we know. Our power went out too.

Laffytaffy: MEEE TOOOO

Alex: OH MY GOD EVERYBODY’S POWER IS OUT OK WE NEED CANDLES AND EXTRA BATTERIES AND CANNED FOODS

Alex: JOHN WHERE ARE THE FJCJING CANDLES

John: Alex I threw the candles away after the finals incident

John: this is why we have flashlights ok? Come downstairs and stop running around the house.

Pegster: wait what was the finals incident?

Angel: p l e a s e tell me that Alex set fire to Jeffersons’ final paper or something

Alex: I WISH

Alex: GOOD IDEA ANGELICA I MUST REMEMBER THAT IN THE FUTURE

Eliza: @angelica what have you done

Angel: my god. I don't even know.

Laffytaffy: GUYYYYSSSSS my power is out and I'm all aloneeeee

John: where's herc?

Herc: t r y I N G t o W O R K.

Alex: omg hehe it rhymed.

Eliza: oh dear, alex

Alex: do you get it Eliza? Herc trying to work??

Laffytaffy: oh Jesus he's getting delirious

John: ALEXANDER WHAT WAS THAT SOUND

Alex: I DONT KNOW WHAT SOUND WAS THERE A SOUND SHIT I DIDNT HEAR A SOUND FUCK JOHN WERE BEING HAUNTED I LOVE YOU

John: thanKS AND YOU BROKE THE FUCKING FLASHLIGHT

Alex: sorry!!!! I thought I was being attacked from behind!

Laffytaffy: I'd attack you from behind ;)

John: OY

John: STEP DOWN

Laffytaffy: apologies, mon ami, the joke was so good, I couldn't resist

Angel: anyway

Angel: so what are we gonna do about the power

Laffytaffy: movie night movie night movie night can we all come over and watch movies and eat popcorn pleeeeaaase it would be the best squad sleepover ever

Alex: laf we need power for all those things

Laffytaffy: let me dream!

Eliza: I'd be down for a squad sleepover

Pegster: YES

John: didn't we outgrow the word ‘sleepover’ in like eighth grade?

Eliza: NEVAAHHH

Alex: John can we host pleeeeaaase

John: alex

Alex: pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssseeee

John: it can't be like last time

Alex: last time wasn't my fault. Jefferson got on the internet of his own accord. I was completely within my rights to be indignant

John: yes and you'll remember, I'm sure, how long it took to clean the chips out of the carpet from the table you flipped?

Pegster: oh boy

Alex: it had to happen. The coffee table was in my way.

John: the table didn't need to be flipped. That wasn't necessary.

Alex: I can't control my rage, John. You know this.

Angel: GUYS

Herc: WHAT

Alex: HERC YOURE ALIVE

Laf: Hercules mon cher where are you I'm alone and dying and in the dark please save me

Herc: I'm like three minutes away laf settle down

Laf: drive fast mon cher I am very cold

Herc: Laf you know where the blankets are. Go be a functional adult.

Alex: that request is completely unreasonable. No one should ever be made to do that.

John: you would know, wouldn't you.

 

 


	2. The One Where The Power Is Back On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The power is restored to the Hamilsquad and they deal with the after effects of the outage. More trash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok now I know the first chapter was trash but this is a whole new level. I hope you're ready.

Laffytaffy: THE POWER IS BACK ON!!

Alex: Yaayyyy

John: thank god. Now he'll finally relax

Alex: John we were in a Serious Situation ok? I was reacting appropriately.

Herc: Lafayette

Laffytaffy: what

Herc: Lafayette you didn't

Herc: please tell me you didn't

Laffytaffy: WHAT

Pegster: oh god what's going on

Herc: Lafayette you left the fridge open

Herc: WHILE WE HAD NO POWER

Angel: oh my god laf

Herc: ALL OUR FOOD STINKS LAFAYETTE

Laffytaffy: oops

Alex: one clap for Lafayette!

John: what does that even mean Alexander

Alex: oh my god John you've seen me do this countless times. When someone screws up you say "one clap for" whoever it is and then you clap once. It's like a shame-clap.

Eliza: is that why you're always clapping in Jefferson's face during class?

Pegster: omg that makes so much more sense now.

Herc: WE HAVE NO FOOD

Laffytaffy: IM SORRY I DIDNT REALIZE I LEFT IT OPEN

Angel: oh dear, Laf.

Eliza: I'm actually praying for laf the day they have their own house

Alex: me too

Alex: and I don't even pray

Herc: same

Laffytaffy: @hercules ???????? We live together.

Herc: oh right.

Laffytaffy: if I ever moved away from you it would mean we'd broken up.

Herc: how could I forget

Herc: whoops sorry laf

Laffytaffy: mon cher you scare me sometimes.

Alex: lol

Herc: a n y w a y so back to the issue of WEHAVENOFOOD

Laffytaffy: hehe

Eliza: guys if we have power again guess who else has power

Alex: Jefferson? Damn. I hate it when things go right for him.

Eliza: no...

Pegster: WENDYS

John: NO

Pegster: I LOVE WENDYS

John: I HATE WENDYS

Alex: SQUAD TRIP TO WENDYS

Pegster: SQUAD TRIP TO WENDYS

John: Eliza what have you done

Eliza: :) :) :)

John: Wendys is disgusting.

Herc: you know what laf

Laffytaffy: what

Herc: I bet Wendys didn't forget to CLOSE THEIR REFRIGERATOR DOOR

Pegster: such a compelling argument to go to wendys I have never heard

Alex: John please can we go to Wendy's? Pleeeeaaaaasssse???

John: Wendys is literal garbage why would anyone go there

Alex: Peggy thinks that she looks like the girl on the front of the store

John: the redhead one with braids?

Pegster: YES YEP THATS ME

John: that's actually bullshit. You look nothing like her.

Pegster: don't insult me John laurens

John: Peggy, she's WHITE AND REDHEADED.

Pegster: SO WHAT???

John: SHE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOU

Pegster: STOP CRUSHING MY DREAMS

Angel: John I've already tried to explain this. It's useless.

Laffytaffy: so are we going to Wendys?

John: ......,,,,,.,,,,,fine.


	3. The One Where Nobody Else Has Seen Floogals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody else has seen Floogals, Alexander was banned from Wendy's, and Aaron Burr is currently living with a pickled squash up his ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so when I was travelling we saw a few minutes of this show called Floogals, and I thought I'd introduce it to the Hamisquad. Of course, since I wrote it, Thomas Jefferson and Wendy's emerged.

Alex: GUYS

Eliza: WHAT

Alex: JOHN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT FLOOGALS IS

Pegster: WHAT THE HELL IS FLOOGALS

Alex: OH MY GOD GUYS

Angel: what

Alex: PEGGY AND JOHN DON'T KNOW WHAT FLOOGALS IS

Laffytaffy: Alex I don't think anybody knows what floogals is

Alex: Floogals was my entire childhood

Angel: So since we know nothing about your childhood....,..

Laffytaffy: You don't really talk about the islands, mon ami. Like, ever. 

Alex: Floogals is the best television program ever created. Floogals is everything. Floogals is love. Floogals is life. 

Herc: What the fuck is foogals

Alex: FLoogals is every happy thing rolled into one, Hercules. Way to be late to the conversation.

Herc: That tells me nothing

Laffytaffy: Apparently it's a tv show Alex watched as a kid

Eliza: Sounds terrifying

Pegster: Yeah what's it about?

Alex: It's about these little critters that have adventures with hoomans and flying bears and oh my god it's a m a z i n g

Angel: Define 'hooman' for us, Alexander.

Alex: a HUMAN, Angelica, Jesus.

Laffytaffy: A human, Angelica, and Jesus. Wow. Imagine those three in a room together.

Ale: Laf, you're missing the point!

Laffytaffy: I'm still not clear on what the point is!

Alex: The point IS, nobody should go their entire life without watching Floogals!!!!

Eliza: You're one to talk, Alex. You didn't know what Wendy's was until last year.

Alex: I compensated in enthusiasm for that fine establishment once I discovered it.

Angel: Until you got us all banned from the one near the aquarium.

Alex: THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT

John: Kinda was

Alex: JEFFERSON WALKED INTO MY FIST OF HIS OWN FREE WILL

Pegster: Oh my God I remember this

John: The moral of the story, Alex, is that violence is not the answer.

Herc: .....,,.....why not

John: BeCaUsE It GeTs YoU BaNnEd FrOm WeNdY's

Eliza: I thought you hated Wendy's

John: I do, but. Like. It's more important to teach Alex. That conflict is not good.

Alex: I, Alexander Hamilton, actively despise any Wendy's containing Thomas Jefferson.

Angel: In other news, the sky is blue.

Laffytaffy: At least there's Chipotle.

Alex: #GetJeffersonBannedFromWendys2k16

John: Alex, it wouldn't make any difference if Jefferson was banned from Wendy's.

Alex: why not

Angel: BECAUSE YOU'RE BANNED FROM WENDY'S TOO

Eliza: Nobody would get to experience Wendy's

Pegster: THAT SOUNDS HORRIFYING

Alex: JEFFERSON DOESN'T DESERVE WENDY'S

John: Can we table any Jefferson-related conversation?

Laffytaffy: Please. That man is disgusting. Let's talk about someone else instead.

Alex: Like who?

Laffytaffy: I don't know. Aaron Burr?

Alex: OKAY

Eliza: N O P L E A S E N O M O R E R A N T I N G A B O U T A A R O N B U R R

Herc: @Eliza ??

Eliza: I have had E N O U G H ranting about Aaron Burr. From Alex OR John.

Angel: You guys know he asked me out once, right?

Alex: w H a T

Pegster: OH BOY

Laffytaffy: whatdidyousay??? ???

Angel: Guys. I said no. Ew. Gross.

Alex: OMG. I can't keep this information contained.

John: Alex....

Alex: I have to tweet at him about it.

John: Alex please

Alex: John can you tell me what you changed my Twitter password to?

John: no.

Laffytaffy: y i k e s

Alex: NVM I guessed it

Pegster: What was it?

John: Nothing.

Alex: AaronBurrIsCurrentlyLivingWithAPickledSquashUpHisAss

John: or that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment on my garbage fic.

**Author's Note:**

> please comment on my garbage fic. Thank you very much!!


End file.
